Caper Number Seven Hundred and Twelve
by CakeTwins
Summary: Fed up with exams, Fred and George Weasley decide to lighten the atmosphere a bit. PG for some light swearing and the presence of underclothes.
1. Default Chapter

**Author's Note: **This little fic (it'll probably only be two or three chapters long) was inspired by a recent experience at the high school I attend here on exchange in Finland. I happen to be grouchy today, so it started writing itself to cheer me up. It's already taken on a life of its own – far different from what I had intended. We'll see where things end up.

**Disclaimer: **None of this belongs to me. Not one little drop.

Fred Weasley glared at the group of giggling second-years sitting in the corner of the Common Room. _How _could Ginny actually be friends with those people? They were so annoying, so immature, so... young!

He was actually rather surprised at his annoyance – four months ago, he would have been aiding them in their childish endeavors. The story was different now though – he had exams to study for... OWLs, no less, and even a Weasley twin is not completely without ambitions. So if those kids would just... just...

"Shut it!!!" Fred bellowed. The occupants of the Gryffindor Common Room looked up in surprise. They'd never seen a Weasley boy (with the exception of Percy) so focused on his work. Fred glared at them all, and went back to studying for his Ancient Runes exam.

Someone sat down next to him at the table. Being in a fairly bad temper, he ignored whoever it was, and continued reading. Eventually, though, the sense that he was being stared at intensely was too much for him to handle, and he wheeled around in irritation.

"Easy, Fred-o." It was George. With a stupid, dopey grin on his face. Fred had never wanted to maul him as much as he did at the current moment. He'd come awfully close before, especially when his brother – his own flesh and blood! – had nearly gotten them caught by Filch when he dropped the flask of marbled eel spores that they'd been nicking from Snape's office. Close. But not this close.

"George... now is _not _the – "

"Merlin, Fred! Can't you see what this work is doing to you?" George ripped Fred's book out of his hands and dragged him up the stairs to their dorm. "You're acting like Percy," he said, as he shut the door behind them.

"I beg your pardon?" Fred huffed, indignant.

"Case closed."

"Fine! Alright! I concede! So this work has got me bogged down! What do you expect me to do about it? Mum'll kill me if I don't pass Runes AND Herbology in addition to everything else, and we all know how I fare with those two subjects..."

"What you need," George looked at Fred with a glint in his eye that Fred was only too familiar with. "...is a diversion." Identical grins spread slowly onto the faces of two of the most feared inhabitants of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

* * *

"Oliver! Hey! Over here!" Oliver Wood hoped beyond hope that there was another Oliver in the vicinity who might be the target of the Weasley twins. _Please please please please please..._

"Oy! Wood!"

_Damn._

"Yes?" He turned slowly, gripping his wand in his pocket, always at the ready to avoid the boys' latest trick. Fred and George approached him, hands outstretched and open.

"You can take your hand off your wand, you know. We come in peace." Fred winked.

"And bearing goodies!" George pulled a box of sweets out of his pocket.

"Er, I'll pass..."

"Right-o. Come with us, pal, we've got a job for you." Fred slung his arm around Oliver's shoulders, and steered him away from the Great Hall, and into a small, empty classroom. "Make yourself comfortable."

"Make this quick, you two. I've got some studying to get finished." George's friendly grin turned to a look of horror, and Fred feigned a swoon.

"It's got him too," he whispered. His brother, fanning him with one hand, gripped Oliver's shoulder with the other.

"Snap out of it, Wood. All of these books aren't doing anyone any good. Look around you – have you noticed the atmosphere around here lately?" Oliver thought about that. He had to admit that the students seemed much more worried about exams this year than ever before. He wasn't sure why – usually people spent exam days relaxing in the sunshine and tossing their last-minute cramming to the wind. This year, however, half of the student body had chairs staked out in the library, and Oliver had seen more than one student above the fifth year shrink away from the light as they emerged from the depths of it. He sighed. He could go for a break, that's for sure. Couldn't hurt to hear what the two of them had to say.

"Alright. You've got my attention."

"Excellent..."

* * *

Ron eyed the small group of students sitting close together near the fire in the Common Room warily. His brothers seemed to have gathered a little following in the past two days, and it worried him.

"What do you think they're up to?" he asked, for the fourteenth time.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Ron! Why don't you just go _ask _them?" Hermione slammed down her Arithmancy book and glared at him.

"I'm not going to do that!"

"And why _not_?"

"Well... because! I don't need a reason!" He sputtered, turning red in the face.

"Truthfully Ron, it would save the rest of us a lot of grief. You've been lurking around them non-stop for the past few days..." Harry apologetically informed his friend.

"I'm not _lurking!_"

Harry glanced at Hermione and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and snatched her book back up. Ron slumped in his chair, glaring darkly at his brothers, and muttering colorful words under his breath.

"...What was that?" Hermione asked, arching an eyebrow at him from behind her book.

"NOTHING!" He snapped, and started doodling two identical stick figures being hanged on Harry's old Potion's essay.

* * *

"Is everything ready?" George whispered, tiptoeing past a girl fast asleep on her Transfiguration book. Fred nodded silenty, and the two of them ascended the stairs to their dormitory. "You did talk to Dumbledore, didn't you?"

"Of course I did! You think this would work without his cooperation?"

"Good. I knew my faith in you was not misplaced." George winked, and got into bed. "Tomorrow we reap the fruits of our labor." He pulled his curtains closed, and lay back with a contented sigh.


	2. The Caper Seven Hundred and Twelve Commi...

**Author's Note: **I must admit to being surprised to come back after posting this and find reviews already! I don't know how you people do it – it doesn't even show up on for another half day or so... Hooray for the diggers! Anyway. I suppose you all want me to stop my yapping at get to posting this second piece, hmm? I _guess _I could do that. Enjoy. :)

**Disclaimer: **J.K. Rowling is the ruler of the universe, and I am simply a little peasant/pawn/insignificant-type-thing caught up in the wonders of her creations.

* * *

Dawn broke over the Hogwarts grounds, splashing the castle with bright sunshine. In a tiny window, high in one of the many towers, two very redheaded young men were rising casually. Much too casually.

* * *

"Thanks for waiting, guys." Ron shot a sarcastic look at his best friends, Harry and Hermione, and plopped onto the bench at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

"Anytime," Harry grinned, before sipping his juice.

"What happened to you? You were right with us," Hermione said, starting to unload her course books from her bag.

"Yeah, I _was_. Until Neville dropped Trevor right onto that trick stair. Hard enough to pull a person out – there was _one _toad leg sticking out of that thing. Luckily, I was there." Ron inclined his head towards Neville, who was sitting a few places down, and holding (a completely whole) Trevor in one hand.

"A regular hero, you are." The three friends looked up as Ron's brothers, Fred and George, sat down next to them. Fred looked around the hall.

"Not everyone's here, George. Think he'll do it now, or wait a few more minutes?"

"What are you talking about?" Ron asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. George reached over and patted his cheek maternally.

"You'll see dear." With a look of disgust, Ron smacked his brother's hand away, and began shooting dark glances at Harry.

"What are you looking at me for? I'm not the one doing whatever it is you think they're up to!"

"Oh forget it." Ron shoved a piece of toast in his mouth, and looked surly.

* * *

Oliver Wood was hovering nervously by the broom closet next to the Great Hall. He didn't know why he'd exactly agreed to help the twins with this. He should be studying. He needed to graduate – he wasn't about to be one of those dumb jocks that gets held back for years and years because they only thing they're good for is strutting around with muscles showing. Granted, he was good at that. But that's not the point! He was also a Gryffindor, and that meant that he had something to prove. And he wasn't exactly sure that aiding the Weasleys in 'caper number seven hundred and twelve' was worth it.

Especially since it was quite likely that this... caper... the part that he was to carry out, specifically, would upset several of the teachers. Which was putting it lightly, if he was really truthful with himself.

Oliver glanced at a large clock on the opposite wall. Nearly time. _I am _never _going to pass potions now..._

* * *

"Here we go!" George elbowed Hermione excitedly, and she looked up from her arithmancy in a daze. She'd been so engrossed in her studies; she hadn't paid attention to any of the conversation since Ron had arrived at the table. (Which had consisted mainly of comments such as – "Any minute now. Just wait, Ron." wink "You two are a bunch of goddamn blo – " "Tsk. Tsk. Language, little one.")

Harry watched the interactions between the three Weasleys with amusement. He, too, wondered what the twins were up to, but he didn't really worry about it. He'd never known them to do anything dangerous really – well, actually, he took that back. He'd never known them to purposely endanger anyone _else's _life, so he didn't feel particularly threatened by whatever it was they had planned. No, Harry was content to wait and see.

Just then, Professor Dumbledore stood at his place at the teacher's table. The hall quieted immediately, and the school's headmaster smiled at all of the students.

"Good morning to all of you. I trust you've all gotten plenty of sleep to prepare for your exams?" A number of disgruntled murmurs greeted his question. Dumbledore chuckled. "It has recently been brought to my attention that there is growing resentment among the student body. This party which alerted me to this also suggested a remedy to the problem. I have carefully considered the idea, and come to the conclusion that a diversion from the dull existence that is exams week would be beneficial – to all." He turned and smiled at the teachers behind him. Hagrid, the massive Care of Magical Creatures teacher, looked excitedly expectant. Professor McGonagall eyed the headmaster warily, and shifted her gaze occasionally towards the middle of the Gryffindor table. Professor Snape was, not to anyone's surprise, scowling. "With that, it is now my great pleasure to introduce the soon-to-be-infamous Caper Number Seven Hundred and Twelve Committee. Gentlemen?" He stepped back, and gestured for them to take his vacated spot. "Ah, my apologies. Gentlemen _and _ladies?" Dumbledore corrected himself after an indignant shout sounded from one side of the room.

The students in the Great Hall watched as a group of six people filed onto the stage. Fred and George Weasley, Lee Jordan, Seamus Finnigan ("_Seamus_ was in on this, and he never told?" Ron sputtered in indignation.), Angelina Johnson, and Oliver Wood faced the rest of the school. Oliver came last, his arms full of broomsticks.

"Lovely morning, isn't it?" Fred asked the school, leaning casually on the teacher's table behind him.

"Oh just get to it!" Someone shouted from the direction of the Ravenclaw table.

"Alright, alright." George beamed around at them all. "Due to the heightened numbers of nervous breakdowns caused by studying – "

"And sudden, brief fits of insanity," Fred added, nodding knowingly.

"Right. After seeing more students than usual driven mad by this year's exams, myself and these five others have decided that it is time to take a stand. Time to lift the spirits of Hogwarts! Time to embolden the resolve that builds this school's character!" He paused, his hand on his heart, and nodded dramatically at the Hogwarts banner hanging in the middle of the hall. "We have planned a day-long diversion. Interruption, break, whatever you wish to call it."

"For one day, Hogwarts is exam, and care, free." Cheers rang out around the hall. Snape glowered. Lee Jordan stepped forward.

"But – " The cheers stopped rather abruptly. "There is a catch. After all, we don't call it Caper Number Seven Hundred and Twelve for nothing." He pulled a long piece of parchment out of his pocket, and turned to Dumbledore expectantly.

The headmaster waved his wand, and the house tables disappeared. A number of surprised yelps were heard, and Ron Weasley was spotted trying to snatch the plate filled with scones before the tables vanished completely.

"If you would please separate yourselves into your respective years, we can begin."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I'm not extremely happy with this chapter. It's one of those stupid, setting-up-for-the-real-thing chapters, and I'm terrible at those. So please bear with me. The next one should be better, but it will take a little bit longer to get posted. I have to collect my thoughts, and do that sorting-out thing that people have suggested so many times. Hmm. 


End file.
